TATA FRIKY · 5 MIN

Why does Dad never say “I love you”?

He never says the words. Then I start noticing what he has been saying all along.

familyfeelingsconversation

October 22, 2026

Tata Frikythinking out loud…

Friday
Tata FrikyDad has never said “I love you” to me. Not once.07:22
At school, a friend would end calls with “love you, Dad.” I tried it once. Mine said, “Have you eaten?” 💀
I know someone will say I shouldn't complain. He's around. He pays for what he can. But sometimes I just want to hear three words.
NadiaHave you ever asked him why he doesn't say them?
Tata FrikyAsk Dad to discuss feelings? Nadia, are you trying to end my social life?
KossiMine said “okay” when I told him I'd graduated.
Tata FrikyExactly. Why are they like this?
Tata Friky
•••
This morning my bicycle was outside the door. Brakes fixed, tyres pumped. I hadn't even asked.
Mum0:07He went out early to buy the part. Did you see? And have your breakfast.
Tata FrikyI saw the bike. It still doesn't answer my question.
NadiaDid you notice how long he spent finding that part?
Tata Friky...no.
Last month he saved me the last piece of fish. He waited in the rain when my bus was late.
I called it “dad stuff.” I never stopped to ask what he was trying to tell me.
KossiMine calls to ask if I've eaten. I thought he was monitoring my menu.
Tata FrikyWait. “Have you eaten?” That's exactly what my dad said when I told him I loved him.
•••
Maybe that was his way of saying he cares. In brakes, fish, and calls that end too soon.
I can see the tenderness now. I still want to hear the words. Both things can be true.
NadiaYou could tell him that. Start with what you noticed instead of everything he hasn't said.
Tata Friky“Dad, I saw that you fixed my bike. It meant a lot. I'd also like us to be able to say we love each other.”
KossiHe might say, “Are the brakes working?”
Tata FrikyProbably. But if nobody ever asks, how will he know those words matter to me?
He might not change in one day. He might try. And I can start too.
Of course, not every father shows care through actions. Absence or harm don't become love just because we try to explain them away.
I'm talking about mine. The bike by the door. The conversation we haven't had yet.
Tata Friky
How does your family usually say “I love you”?
I'll thank him for the bike first. Then we'll see whether we can learn another language together.